Author: wapatangawilds

From a ridge top at dusk, a deer and a coyote looking down at me, looking up at them. I’m walking in their world, in a wild, I don’t want to interrupt their wanderings, I don’t want to intrude, I’m the outsider, I keep my distance, as they do too. I’m looking for a spot to stop in the forest, where I can sit, in solitude and nature’s silence, where the mood is relaxed. I find it, at the top of steep descent among ponderosa pine trees and needles. I look up to the sky. I see a tassel-eared squirrel in the branches of a tree. I sit down and lie back into the slope. I lounge while observing the patterns of the needles above me, against the fluffy white clouds in an otherwise blue sky. Then the wind comes. I hear it above me, I see it in the movement of the tree branches, I feel a coolness across my body.  I am connected.

In a winter sun, among bluestem grass seedheads, I am sitting on the ground, watching two bull elk lying on the ground watching me, we hold each other’s attention, yet not bothered, relaxed, sharing a winter morning, completely silent, at rest, sharing an open space, sharing life, I feel more alive, feeling this is what it is to live, I’m more in touch with the Earth and all its life, from soil to antler, from land to sky, born to die, breathing out, breathing in the calm, feeling the peace in a wild, I am a nature’s child, birthed from Earth to live and return again to the Earth.

The mountains in winter, with snow coming down, I think of as my friend, but on a wilderness trek I know they could also be my end.  I keep that in mind as I begin once again, starting from high plains grass, walking through a grove of cottonwood, to climb, rising with the land, through groves of pine and aspen and snow-laden boughs of fir, into rock and boulder as my heart finds it’s pace and its place, all alone in the cold, turning to look back at the tracks I leave in the snow.  I pause, slow my breathing, standing very still, feeling every muscle, fiber  and bone, taking it all in, getting my fill of mountain pulses, flakes flowing down, as wind blows and swirls, I find myself somewhere between earth and sky, between life and death, in a dance, in a kind of romance, no need to speak, the silence says it all, and then I move on, with intention, with care, rising ever higher with the land, walking on a winding path, following as far as my heart leads, flakes in my eyes, walking on a winding path, looking, my ears listening, until finally I stop, sit, and in the solitude soak in the wonder, grace and power that is a winter wild. I sit in silence, in peace,  in warmth, recording in words inspirations that come unbidden, yet, welcome into my heart and mind. Then, when I begin to feel chilled my stay is complete, I feel a pull to start back down, and I turn towards home with a feeling of satisfaction.

Another day to be alive, doesn’t matter the weather, sky gray or blue, frost or flowers, or when forecast snow doesn’t show, when it all goes south, the challenge then is if I can embrace the miss and breathe of the life in another day, see the color in a leaf, the mountains under a mist, the sun rising in the air, if I can allow myself the simple pleasure of following a dirt path up a prairie hill, to a quiet place, enjoying the feel of the earth under my feet, the wind in my hair, and sit, slowing down enough to hear my friends, the tallgrasses speak, speak to me of living free in a wild, of leaves growing green in the sun, of soil soaking up the rain, of standing strong in the wind, of resilience, of being alive, right now, where I am rooted.

The warm days of November are upon us, sun feels hot, no snow, not even any rain, no frost, I find myself looking for winter, as I walk in my Cottonwood woods at dusk I sense it in the branches bare, the early sunset and the chill in the air, and as I reflect on the passing of another day,  I don’t know why but it gets me thinking I’m getting older, that as the daylight fades along with the Fall season, so too are my years, the end of my time here is not so far away anymore, I do feel a bit sad about that, but mostly my walk leaves me wanting to enjoy the  time left and be glad for this life. 

Waning moon seen through tree branches bare, November morning cool in the air, walking a path through dead summer grasses, autumn touching me as it passes, leaving in me a feeling of life, moving through the trees, it’s in the breeze, as I pause to stand still, my senses fill, and with each turn of the head I see it in remaining leaves yellow and red, I hear it in the crunch with each step of my feet,  it runs through my blood and each heartbeat, and with walking done, I feel it in the warmth of the rising sun

Aspen leaves are gone, a trail leads on, forests beckon, an open meadow and patch of snow invites, mountain sky delights, up high the wind gathers a sigh, spruce needles green, serene, nature’s silent  call, into Fall. 

Take me away wild winds, blow me to where the earth frees my mind, moves my heart, where my spirit rises, where I connect to life, I want to feel the dance, feel young once again, at least one more time, all alone in a wild, away from time, into the flowers’ blooms or into the snows’ swirls, beyond the mundane boundaries, off the well-known paths, where fears disappear into a snowy mist, away from civilization to sit, to observe, and listen, while watching a solitary wild goose forage in a mountain pond

I see a first snow covering peaks and colors in the leaves, I feel a chill in the morning air, inside me I feel a thrill, it’s early October, and I’ve come to sit and walk in an aspen grove, it’s like a Fall garden of colors, gold and yellow, red and pink and peach, white and still some green, purple and blue, clouds subdue the sun, sets a mild mood, the only sound is the quiet of nature, I sit in the quiet for a time and feel the silence, then I rise and walk around for a bit, I see a moose’s track in the mud by a nearby stream, and I think, though the sun may come out, the moose will not.

Bear cubs quietly sit in the stream, water tumbles out of the mountains, scattering sunlight as it goes, coyotes howl behind the trees on the ridge, bull snake moves soundlessly into the brush, owl stares down silently from overhead, then the air resounds with thunder claps, and the sun shining from the mountaintop becomes obscured by a veil of rain moving up the valley, I’m in the cottonwoods, I’m in a wild, walking a wild path, observing, listening, watching the sky, it’s where I want to be, where I want to stay, I feel the life here, I feel the life in me, it’s where I don’t feel afraid, here, where every year, new leaves grow green and every year, leaves turn color and fall, a cycle that continues, no matter who or what moves beneath, long before I was and long after I’m not, the cycle has been, will continue on, and the thought of that leaves me feeling I don’t need to be afraid